textsfromlastnight

[[SoW] Lucky_Saint-]

(937):

 

don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

 

 

(507):

 

i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

 

(860):

 

of course. lets lasso hookers.

 

(603):

 

I just saw the nastiest chick.

(1-603):

 

Where?

(603):

 

woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

 

 

[SgtJoeFriday]

(765):

I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.

 

(630):

You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

 

(732):

i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

 

(413):

I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

(215):

You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

 

[[SoW] Lucky_Saint-]

Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

(1-661):

 

What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

 

(774):

 

Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.

 

(214):

 

dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

 

(484):

 

Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.