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Jokey jokes

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Q: What is the punishment for bigomy?

A: Two mothers-in-law.

 

Q: When Bill Clinton was president, why did Hillary always want to have sex with him in the morning?

A: Because she really did want to be the first lady.

 

Q: Why do women pay less than men for car insurance?

A: Because they can't get blow jobs while driving.

 

Q: Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?

A: Because she had three men giving directions.

 

Q: What other activity, other than poker, starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss?

A: A failed marriage.

 

Q: How do you respond when your girlfriend tells you you have to be more affectionate?

A: You go get two more girlfriends.

 

Q: What is the difference between "oooooh" and "aaaaah?"

A: About three inches.

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Guest [+30]PuddyTat

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

------------ --------- --------- --------- -------- ------------ --------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

------------ --------- --------- --------- ------! ------------ --------- -

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Women will never be equal to men,

 

 

until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 

 

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Guest KingJunk

Ohh yeah Puddy!!

 

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eye's?

 

Nothing you told her twice already!!

 

:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o

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