I've got a problem

[Guest Skipper]

I am addicted to Socom. Why I don’t know, but I know this: crack ain’t this good.

 

However, it has become a problem; a problem that has been trending in the wrong direction for the last two years.

 

When I first got the game I played it all the time like everyone else. After work, on the weekends, the usual stuff. It shortly became more than that.

 

I used to be a financial advisor for Merrill Lynch until recently when I started my own company. I loved my job at Merrill: overpaid, great hours and awesome benefits. My Socom addiction kinda grew its roots here as I turned a co-worker onto it and we used to meet-up online at night.

 

I would come to work each day and bs with my colleague about the game and how we used to have it in our heads when we went to bed. We would look like shit because we were up until almost 2 on some mornings playing the game. Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave the game at home. When I got bored at work I would pop into my boss’ office and tell him I had a client meeting (he always had to know where you were for compliance reasons) and blow off the day and play Socom. It got to the point where I was doing this once every week.

 

When I met my wife, I was deep into my addiction. When we were dating she would call me at night and I couldn’t tell you one damn word she said. I had my headset on and was much more interested in “owning these scrubs†then I was in hearing about how her day was.

 

She hates the game. When we were engaged I used to say to her “come one, do you really think I’m going to be playing this game when we are living together?†When she became pregnant it was “seriously, like I’m going to be playing this game when I have a kid.†Guess what, my kid was 2 months old when my clan won POW.

 

I’m getting ready to get my MBA from the Univ. Of Maryland (I graduate in May) and like I said I’ve started my own company. It’s two really. We have leased 4,000 square feet of office space, hired a bunch of employees, bought furniture exc. So far so good business wise. We’ve jumped out of the gate thanks to some of my connections. We are all working from home now as we move into the space May 1st. Bad idea.

 

Last night I made a to-do list that comprised 24 things, a full day. I got a couple of those things out of the way by 9:45 when I convinced my self I needed a break. I said, “hey I’ve got some important calls to make today, play a little Socom, maybe an hour then back on the phone. That was at 10:00am. I logged off at 2:45….day wasted.

 

Things around the house aren’t getting fixed, my wife is swamped with kid stuff because I am in the basement and I’ve been drinking more since I like to have a couple of Coors lights when I play. Oh I almost forgot, my neighbors called our homeowners association because are dog is barking at night and doesn’t get let in. Huh, wonder why that is?

So here is where I am. I think I am just going to destroy my disc, maybe the PS2 as well. I’m coming to you guys for advice. I can’t exactly call my friends and talk about it you know? Besides, I like to act as if I don’t have any vulnerabilities.

 

I need to quit now don’t I? I would like to find a happy medium but in all honesty, is that really going to happen?

 

I’m anticipating all your responses to my cry for help here. I probably won’t respond for a little while because well, I’m playing Socom

 

-Skipper

 

[[<+>] mic--]

Tell your wife to hide the ps2 internet adapter from you. That will save you money, and you can still play on the weekends. The easiest thing to do is just play on the weekends. Try finding something else to do when ever you feel like playing socom. Go play with your kid, dog, etc... There is nothing wrong with gaming as long as you do it in moderation...

[TOW-19]

As he said, MODERATION.

 

However, if it's not in your personality or characteristic to be ABLE to shelve things away (people with "addictions" rarely have the ability to curb this on their own), then for the better of your life, your family, your job and your home, it might be time to hang up the mic for a while and concentrate on the things that will reward you later in life, not the things that will reward you until 2am.

 

There's definitely a BALANCE that one has to be able to maintain if you want to call yourself a "gamer" and still have a life outside of the pixels. There's plenty of people who cannot do this, hence, you read about relationships crumbling and lives being affected because some people put too much of themselves into the game they play until it corrodes who and what they are. You have a wife and a child that DEPEND on you to be things and to do things, and sorry, but GAMING is not one of those things.

 

Of course, everyone needs their "hobby." It's what allows us to blow steam off from the week of work or life in general. But when your hobby becomes your obsession, then other parts of your life will suffer.

 

If you KNOW inside of yourself that you cannot make the distinction between the balance needed for private time and your life's duties, then you may need to take it upon yourself to make the right choice for the IMPORTANT things in life, and right now, the important things in life are not jacked into your wall waiting to be turned on every night. The important things to you should be your wife, your child and the job that holds all of you together and takes care of the whole burrito.

 

But the decision to do this must be up to you.

Don't let your wife make the decision for you or don't let your wife hold the means to you playing (ie, the adapter), because whether or not you want to or not, there will come a time when you will resent her for having that hold over you and something you love to do.

 

Take a BREAK. Ship the PS2 off to a friend or a nephew or whatever. Let them enjoy it for a bit while you take just SIX MONTHS off. No need to go cold turkey. Do 6 months, get things in order, and then SEE if you're able to just slip PS2 back into your life without it troubling the real things that matter.

The guys in your clan, the games that you play, the people you know here through this community.....we don't mean SHIT to your real life. We don't EXIST. Your family is in need of you and they EXIST. So you need to take care of it all before it's taken away from you.

[GOAT]

Have you tried the Socom Addiction support group?

 

Goat- "Hello my name is Goat and I'm a Socohalic."

 

Group- "HI GOAT!"

 

Goat- "I've been Socom free for three months."

 

Group leader- "that's great! do you contribute your willpower to stop playing Socom is a result of having group support?"

 

Goat- "No, it's more of a lack of time"

 

Group leader- "That's great you're making time for other things besides Socom.. like family, and work correct?"

 

Goat- "Well sort of... I still don't have much time for family and work.. I'm too busy playing COD4 and RBV2, oh and I can't wait for this GTA 4 game that's coming out.. but the good news is I think I beat my Socom addiction"

 

Group- ??? :( :( :-\

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest SaTAnS_SoUlJa]

^^^LoL...All of the above (except goat) is absolutely right..Just remember though even if you DO quit or take a break you will ALWAYS have Forums to keep in touch..However that MAY invite you to play more so thats another choice you'll have to make! Either way dude...GOOD LUCK i wish you the best and remember im only twenty minutes away! lol...

[John]

I have to say- it is a problem if it deeply affects your RL world. And from what I read, it is interfering with work, family and maybe even creating a bit of alcoholism. I believe these games affect everyone to some degree. Though normal seems to be dictated as some loss of sleep, or maybe seeing the game when you close your eyes in bed. BUT, if you divert your life in drastic measures because you feel right now might be the time you have a great game or you could be missing your best map in all the favorable circumstances that will give you a killer score..... you might really have a true problem. It has already been defined that many people were addicted to chat rooms during the '90s and the trigger was the possible chance of missing something by logging off. I agree with the above post in that you may need to create some moderation schedule for now, but I would also look deep inside your self and question, "it this some escape-ism issue I'm not addressing?"

 

Good luck and keep us posted

[Guest KingJunk]

I will PM u Skipper I had a similar thing happen to me while we were in POW! :'(

[GOAT]

Just don’t let it get really bad.. My neighbor was addicted to Oblivion.

 

His wife had to call in the local swat team…

 

I woke up one night at 2am to a horde of flashing lights and cop cars…

 

Then a negotiator got on the bull horn and said..

 

“YOU in the house!! Put down the controller and walk slowly away from the Play station!â€

 

“I say again PUT down the controller and walk slowly away from the Play Station!!â€

 

A few moments of silence….. then I heard..

 

“LOOK OUT He’s got a GUN!â€

 

Bamm Bamm bam bam bam bam bam. Bammmm

 

Bam. „“Hold your fire! It’s just a Socom head setâ€

 

Followed by. „“Did we get Him?“

“No!! but we shot the schit out of that Play Stationâ€

“Well in that case problem solved.. write him a ticket for disturbing the peace and pack it up.. our work is done here.â€

 

 

p.s. On a serious note, when you take the time to write that a problem may exist then you have already admitted it does. you also probably already know what needs to be done. Take Tow's advice and try loaning the equipment to a friend for awhile. It really sounds like you simply need a break and a chance to concentrate on more important things in your life that are happening at the moment. If socom is a distraction then eliminate the distraction until you feel things are back in order.

[SNIPER]

 

SOCOM: Confrontation comes out September 16, 2008, there is NO cure for SoCrack, just more SoCrack. Sorry bud.

[BigMoneyNacku]

Heh. All solid advice here. You might be addicted to the relationships more than the game. Do you play after your friends/clanmates all log off? Anyways what I'm getting at, is if that's the case, you can get that on the forums in free tics.

 

It's your call and good luck with it all.

[Guest Skipper]

Thanks guys, this is the kind of advice I was looking for.

 

I was thinking about giving my wife my controller but Tow you might be right, that's a recipe for disaster.

 

The funny thing is: I've never been addicted to anything before. Everything I did was in moderation.

 

But for some reason this game has got me. It's not the scores or trying to get better but the stimulation of it. I'm not a sit-on-the-couch and passively watch TV kind of guy. I need to be doing something.

 

I think I am going to donate the PS2 to charity or something, I've wanted a PS3 so if I decide to try it again I can just pick up one of those.

 

All this sounds so stupid over a video game but man, it's killing me.

[Chili327]

Do exactly that.. get rid of it, & live your life.. You have A LOT going on right now & a lot riding on it. (the new biz, wife, kids.!!)

Just give it away & just tell yourself you can play again in Sept. ;D (i know its a smiley, but we're serious)

 

DO NOT stop coming here.. it will help you not feel like you quit cold turkey.

[onewholikes2kill]

It’s kind of funny how people have the same problem. I have logged in 35 days on COD4 and played 3500 games on Socom in the past two years. I have gotten past the point of addiction and to the point of knowing I have an addiction and doing nothing (Most people just call this being a dumb ass). I recently gave myself a deadline and I plan to live up to it.

I have a cousin that has a twelve year old boy who is mentally challenged and in three weeks I plan to give my PS3 to the kid. My cousin can not work because he has a heart defect that limits his walking.

I feel that I used to be happy playing golf ,hunting or fishing and now it is time to move on from gaming. My leaving gaming gives a kid an opportunity to have something he would not have had and I will be set free from my own imprisonment of be locked in front of a TV screen.

Good luck with what you work out.

[crater1]

I like Goats idea get addicted to COD lol that's funny. I used to have an addiction to COD then I left my old lady now I'm to busy finding someone else to ignore for hours upon end to play lol

[CpDude05]

Hey man, let me share something from a younger persons point of view. Growing up my father was an alcoholic. He would work all day long, then come home and go straight to the garage so he could start drinking. I can honestly say that i missed out on some of the things every boy needs to do with his dad. Playing catch, going to football games. As a younger person i didn't understand why my dad would want to spend time doing something else instead of spending it with his family. My parents have been married for almost 24 years. There marriage almost split up about 2 years ago because of his addiction. As a teenager this is a lot of stuff to go through. My father has been sober for almost 2 years now. Now that i am older i really don't have time to do stuff with my dad. I work full time and stuff. If you do give up socom, do it for your son. Take the time and become active in his life. Do stuff that he will always remember doing with you. You won't be on this earth forever. I know for a fact that your son would rather have a dad who did stuff with him, then a dad who gets drunk in the basement playing socom. Just my two cents man. Hope everything does work out for.

 

[COU] CpDude

 

 

 

[[RIP]saint52]

Skipper,

 

There allot of good advice her and most of it has one resounding tone. Moderation and self discipline. I was allot like you, but not being a part of socom 2......(I started with 3) I was addicted to stalking actual people instead of some A.I. the game came up with. So it affected everything social life, friends ect......but this was mainly to due to my dedication to my clan and getting it up on its feet. Now I really regulate myself. Number

1. I don't know about you but after playing socom for a long time at night, trying to go to bed is horrible, my mind is still darting around and it takes allot longer to fall as sleep.So now I know when I have to log off to start to unwind my mind.

2. If I have something planned or a night off, I go through my priorities in my head first before I touch a controller. And even when I have some free time, I might watch survivor man, lost or just something on t.v. so that not all my free time is consumed by a game.

3. Also look at it like this as well.....if there is another place after this world, do you really want to look back and see how much of your time was spent in a video game????? I don't.

4. Treat yourself. Bro all of this doesn't mean you cant play, but set a reasonable schedule for you and the rest of your tasks.

 

So my advice to you like the rest is, set a time when you can play...i.e. war nights and practice times.....but popping on to socom during the day instead of working eventually catches up with you....and brother.....if you have alittle baby...man....spending time with him or her should always be priotrity number one.....I hope this helps and if I did'nt maybe someone elses advice did.......peace bro

[GOAT]

I like CpDude's suggestion. I too had some issues with Playing video games vs. spending time with my Son. On more then one occasion I locked the Play Station away and forced myself to spend time with my son. I never regretted the time I spent with him one bit. In ever instance it was a far more rewarding experience then playing video games.

 

Fast forward to the present...

 

My son is now 13 years old.. and I'm soooooo happy because he plays COD4, RBVII and I will probably allow him to play Socom when the new one comes out.. I got him his own Xbox and I've been teaching him all my old dog tricks and tactics.. So my answer to my gaming addiction was to get my son addicted!! LMAO!! but it's all good we spend time together playing online and we spend time playing each other and we have fun together father and son playing video games. I also goat to all his track meets, all his football games and all his school band performances.. I take a lot of pride in being there for him. We both have been practicing the marital arts every Saturday for the last 10 years (he started at age 3) It's important to have something very stable and long lasting that you both do together on a regular basis.

 

On a side note he's better than I am at video games.. it's sort of like watching my self play with him using some tactics I've came up with although his reflexes and aiming skills are far better then the "OLD man's" The other night we were doing a 1 vs 1 and "Da Kid" was ruling on the "Old man". I told him "Go to bed!!" dammit!! LOL!

 

p.s. I still outrank him in the Martial arts.. and "da kid" can't take the Old man quite yet in a sparring match.. but I'm sure the day will come... :-[

 

 

 

 

[Renix3]

I sujest taking a trip to this site.

 

http://www.olganonboard.org/

 

Online-Gamers Anonymous

 

 

 

Best of luck,

 

and

 

Keep it Real.