Don't Like the Ads? Upgrade your experience to remove the ads for only $20.00 per year.
Don't Like the Ads? Upgrade your experience to remove the ads for only $20.00 per year.
Sign in to follow this  
Guest [+30]PuddyTat

Driving Tips

Recommended Posts

Guest [+30]PuddyTat

1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the

right, that means you need to get the fuck out of the left lane,

genius.

 

2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the

middle of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely

says, 'Excuse me' to get through, you have no right to look at them

like they just shit in your coffee.

 

3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just

like they taught you in kindergarten.

 

4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read

rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the

asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or

giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of

you can't go any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the

fuck out.

 

5. Hang the fuck up and drive.

 

6. Four-wheel drive means you can probably get going when it's

snowing. However, it doesn't mean that you can stop, nor does it give

you the right to drive like a fucking maniac and cause problems for

people who don't have four wheel drive.

 

7. If you're someone who can't buy a clue and still has to drive in

the left lane all the time because you're afraid to change lanes,

stay the fuck home or ride the damn bus.

 

8. The next time you cut a corner, rather than turning into your own

lane, realize that if you're in an accident, it will be your fault.

More importantly, if you hit someone and you're not injured in the

accident, don't be surprised if they beat the shit out of you for

being stupid.

 

9. If it's raining, or snowing, or foggy, or dark, turn your

headlights on, and use the low beams. High beams just reflect the

fog, blind the other drivers, and prove to the world that you're a

stupid fuck.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Click here to get 6 months Select Satellite Radio for $30 at SiriusXM.com

Don't Like the Ads? Upgrade your experience to remove the ads for only $20.00 per year.
Get 6 months of SiriusXM All Access for only $50

Don't Like the Ads? Upgrade your experience to remove the ads for only $20.00 per year.
Click here to get 6 months Select Satellite Radio for $30 at SiriusXM.com

road rage? damn, lol you guys dont know me on the road. some bitch in a mini van cut me off, so i tailgated her until she pulled into her driveway. i then continued to blast the most obscene rap music i could find on my ipod until she went in her house.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
J-Rite ]

road rage? damn, lol you guys dont know me on the road. some bitch in a mini van cut me off, so i tailgated her until she pulled into her driveway. i then continued to blast the most obscene rap music i could find on my ipod until she went in her house.

You're the guy i shoot paintballs at.. lol

 

 

FYI, i got rear ended today.. my truck is only 7 months old. :'(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have done over a thousand miles this WEEK alone, and I know exactly what you're saying. I am a NASCAR fan and I'd love to tap somebody's bumper and put em in the wall sometime ERRRRR. But I digress, "the left lane is to keep out of the way" lol. I have heard that and that's what a lot of them think. I get in front of them and low down till they change lanes, lol.

 

I probably shouldn't have a liscense sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chili-Palmer ]
J-Rite ]

road rage? damn, lol you guys dont know me on the road. some bitch in a mini van cut me off, so i tailgated her until she pulled into her driveway. i then continued to blast the most obscene rap music i could find on my ipod until she went in her house.

You're the guy i shoot paintballs at.. lol

 

 

FYI, i got rear ended today.. my truck is only 7 months old. :'(

 

lol dude, i was making a turn onto a ramp at 70mph, the speed limit on it was 40. she BARELY made it in w/out hitting the curb or me. i was having a shitty day that day, so i decided to fuck with her for not knowing how to drive properly.

 

rear ended? shit homie, how bad is it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chili-Palmer ]
J-Rite ]

road rage? damn, lol you guys dont know me on the road. some bitch in a mini van cut me off, so i tailgated her until she pulled into her driveway. i then continued to blast the most obscene rap music i could find on my ipod until she went in her house.

You're the guy i shoot paintballs at.. lol

 

 

FYI, i got rear ended today.. my truck is only 7 months old. :'(

 

sorry to hear that chili, will the insurance cover it all?

 

as for stories of bad drivers, yesterday some cunt was tailgating a car in the oncoming lane and when the car infront of him stopped suddenly to make a right he swerved over the double yellow onto my lane and made me swerve out of the way to my right the right. i was so fucking pissed since he missed me by about 2 feet, he could of killed us both, fucking cock sucker was lucky i was facing the other way and trying not to crash into a post or i would of followed him and rear ended his stupid fucking ass.

 

but yea theres some dumb people who really shouldnt b allowed on the road if they dont have the common sense or basic skills to operate a vehicle.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just call DPS (like highway patrol) on someone thats in my way..."Yes officer, there is a crazy woman in the fast lane on the 101.. She has a bottle of wiskey and pointed a gun at us" she is approaching the next exit"

 

Then you see the flashing lights in about a mile and the car is out of your way. :o;)8)

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
UNCLE-SID25 ]

I just call DPS (like highway patrol) on someone thats in my way..."Yes officer, there is a crazy woman in the fast lane on the 101.. She has a bottle of wiskey and pointed a gun at us" she is approaching the next exit"

 

Then you see the flashing lights in about a mile and the car is out of your way. :o;)8)

 

 

that's just wrong!!! But yet still funny as hell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  



Don't Like the Ads? Upgrade your experience to remove the ads for only $20.00 per year.