The 10 People you meet on Socom..

[neo-x]

1."BEST FRIEND FOR A DAY": You have no idea who this person is, you join a random game and on your team is randomguy1. You play a couple maps together, a little chit chat ensues. Next thing you know you got a friend invite from randomguy1. you kinda have to accept it cause your still playing together but all you can think of is " i cant wait for this guy to log off so i can erase him and i pray he forgets my name". This guy feels the need to send you a " nice" message everytime you get a kill or an " lol" everytime you make a funny. He usually disapears after 2-3 days but you usually run into randomguy1 at some point and asks if your the same ni4ni he met 3 months ago, to which you reply " nope"

 

2." MR.GREEN": This guy has one focus in life...Green Up!! Dont care if its 1 on 15 green up, hey green up. ni4ni green up dude....etc... I try to imagine what its like in mr. greens home and all that makes sense is 4 cambodians with machetes pointing at his mother going " they no green she die" this dude is neurotic, and the funny thing is hes not even greened up!!

 

3."COACH": This guy knows, he's been there before. Every map,every situation , coach has seen it. And now he is gonna tell all of you what you need to do in order to win. he barks orders at you, points out every shortcoming. tells you what you should have done to stay alive, which is ironic because he is dead. Coach usually lasts 4 or five maps before he is either voted out or he knows you just won 1 of the last 6 games under his watch and he cant handle that. The battle is over for coach but not the war, he'll be back tomorrow with a new batch of troops just lookin for someone to boss them around.

 

4. "GANGBANG MCSOCOM": This is the hardset mutha f'ka alive, hes from the corner of crenshaw and us east 2. All this guy does is sell drugs, kill people, and go to jail. Oh yeah and play socom? between robbing banks and setting driveby records this guy manages to log onto to socom every day and talk about it. he usually ends up team killin people for not respectin him or he switches sides cause " dem dudes is garbage ova there"

 

5. " THE MARINE": Straight from a vietnamese torture cave, its the marine. This guy is what would happen if rambo banged robocop, and instead of giving birth, robocop shot the fetus out of a cannon into a pit of flaming skulls...that fetus would be the marine and thats how f'kn intense he is. this guy has in depth knowledge about every firearm in the game. this guy yells and screams. you hesitate to make fun of him for fear he may rappell through your window some night and choke you with piano wire.. no need to worry though, the marine is harmless. hes usally 35-40 which puts him in an age bracket where the only war he was ever apart of was the cola wars in the 80's.

 

 

6. "RADIO RAHEEM": This guy apparently is playing socom at an N.W.A. concert. He has the loudest god dam radio in history. he always has to be near you too, giving away your position. you try to shoo him away but he doesnt budge. eventually he takes off down the road and his radio gets gradually quieter but it never really goes away. now your so mind f'ked by bad music and 8 people on the other side know exactly where u are and what you were just listening too, its only a matter of time before you get killed because of radio raheem.

 

7. "DONNIE DOWNER": Nothing like spawning for the first time of the day, your happy to escape reality for a while and play some good 'ol socom. nothing could ruin this glorious day...nothing except donnie downer. Donnie is about to fill you in on how much this game sucks, how unrealistic it is and why you are such a fool for even playing it. you will be informed of how slant 6 lied to you, how bad the patch sucked. he will tell you names of developers and how bad they suck at their jobs. everytime he gets killed you get a sarcastic laugh and a " yeah ..ok". this man hates socom with a passion, he hates everything about it. By the time donnie is done with you, you realize your just another sheep on the couch takin it from the man. Headset off, back to reality....wow what a **bleep**ty day this is.

 

8."MR. STAGE 1": If the first stage is denial then this is the only name fitting enough for number 8. That grenade wasnt even near him!! That guy wasnt even looking at him!! theres no way that guy killed him because he shot that guy 600 times in the face!! this guy will not accept a death. there is always some other reason he died. Lag, glitches, gun wouldnt shoot, guy appeared out of nowhere, and so on and so on.....he never finishes a whole game so at least we dont have to hear him for too long.

 

9."THE NEWB" This guy you gotta feel for. we were all there before. thrust into a warzone with no formal training. only one way to learn...get in there and give em hell...or not. he runs around aimlessly, tends to gravitate towards cars and other things that may explode. hes oviously color blind because the big green thing that says satchel just does not f'kn exist!! he is always the last one alive though so every one gets to pull out their hair watching him, screaming " WHAT THE FK IS THIS GUY DOING" hes usually voted after the second or third round, but he has successfully fked your game up for good. nothing makes for a good time like getting coach and the newb in the same room!!

 

10." THE TEAMKILLER" (ALSO SEE NAKIDBOB): the teamkiller is socoms most despised individual. has no intentions of killing anyone on the opposing side. No this azzhole has bought the game for 1 sole purpose...piss you the fk off. he has 15 different names so when he gets voted he can slime his way back into the room to piss you off some more. thats assuming that he does get voted because he is so dam quick at quitting the game hes out before the first vote. you know the feeling when he strikes at the beginning of the round all too well....your coming out of the dark, you hear some shots alot of writing in the top left corner, before you can read them to yourself you r screen goes red and your down. Now the teamkiller is already gone and left in his wake utter chaos. what happened? who was that? now your nervous and watching everyone who joins the room like a hawk. is it him? dont try to figure this guy out. some people are just azzholes.

 

 

 

**saw this over at PA's and figured id share it... lol

 

[ChuckMoney]

Think this has been posted before

[neo-x]

find the link... cuz i searched for it, and couldnt find it

[pito]

find the link... cuz i searched for it, and couldnt find it

 

I could be wrong but I believe Col-Grinder posted a few months back.

[neo-x]

meh, Im not a fan of double posts, which is why I searched for it before posting.. but i didnt see it oh well...

 

 

[[RVN]46_and_2]

That's alright,

I read it again and it is STILL funny as fuck.

[pito]

I would say I'm 3 and 5

[COWonCRACK]

3 and 8

[HighTimesSW]

#9 and #10 for me

[Prime-VR]

#2

[Xx-CHURCHY-xX]

4 and 10

 

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON YO

[pito]

z-Prime-z ]

#2

 

O YEA

[[EL] Rorbotron]

GangBang McSocom had me rolling. I run in to that guy daily.

[IRISH BULL]

I'm ashamed to say I'm 7 and 9. :'(