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and were met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season,"St. Peter said,"you must each possess something tht symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The First man fumbled through his pickets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle." he said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said "theyre bells" St. Peter said,"you may pass through the pearly gates." The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of womens panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carol's."
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out." The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?" Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer???"
The Cannibal Test Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, I brought ten apples. The king then explained the trial to him. You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or youll be eaten. The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it? The second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.