What I Have Learned Living In Texas

[John]

 

Things I learned living in Texas

 

 

 

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

 

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .

 

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in

Texas .

 

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

 

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

 

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

 

7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

 

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

 

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

 

 

10. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it

when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

 

11. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'

 

12. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

 

 

13. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

 

14. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question, 'Did you bring

any beer?'

 

15. You measure distance in minutes.

 

16. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

 

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,

vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

 

18. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

 

19. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

 

20. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.

 

21. The local papers cover national and international news on one

page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

 

22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national

holiday.

 

23. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

 

24. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer,

and Christmas.

 

25. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin'

Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

 

26. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew

weather.

 

27. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

 

28. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can

drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

[Playerdown]

I'm still in suspense....What's the 5th spice?

[crater1]

I was going to ask if maybe one more thing you learned is that Teaxans cant count

[Chili327]

Thats funny shyt.. lol

 

But was there a 5th spice..?

[Playerdown]

Chili-Palmer ]

Thats funny shyt.. lol

 

But was there a 5th spice..?

 

Maybe it's Posh.

[M4a1legend]

Is it tru that us Texasn Say "Yall" and other states say "you people"?

[HusH-]

WTF. Is this? I live in texas I have alot more spices then that. I almost agree eveery thing else is right on the money... I loved the 4 seasons. That is a TRUE comment there. AC/ Heat is also true....LMAO.

 

 

And yes I use Yall all the time....

[CritiKiL]

The '5th' Spice (referencing to #20), is: 'Tapatia' (fancy Hot Sauce) And, one of my neighbors gave me this list when I first moved here 2 years ago. Said, 'Son, "yude" beta learn these-here...quicker than a dog learns ta swim!' So I'll just add it in:

 

#28 'That Dog, don't hunt'

~ I don't take, 'no shhhhh%t'!

 

#29 'I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed'

~ (sef-explanatory)

 

#30 "finna", is a word: 'I'm finna kick your ass if you mess with Texas!')

 

#31 'The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving'

~ (Not overly-intelligent)

 

#31 'As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party'

~ (self-explanatory)

 

#32 'Tighter than bark on a tree'

~ (Not very generous)

 

#33 'Big hat, no cattle'

~ (All talk and no action)

 

#34 'We've howdied, but we ain't shook yet"

~ (We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced)

 

#35 'He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow'

~ (He has a pretty high opinion of himself)

 

#36 'She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth'

~ (That woman can talk)

 

#37 'It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs'

~ We really could use a little rain around here)

 

#38 'Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly'

~ (Appearances can be deceptive)

 

#39 'This ain't my first rodeo'

~ (I've been around awhile)

 

#40 'He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch'

~ (Not the most handsome of men)

 

#41 'They ate supper before they said grace'

~ (Living in sin)

 

#42 'Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope'

~ (Stop arguing and do as you're told)

 

#43 'As full of wind as a corn-eating horse'

~ (Rather prone to boasting)

 

#44 'You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits'

~ (You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is)

 

#45 'That's a fur piece'

~ (It'll take you awhile to get there)

 

#46 'Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon'

~ (just do your part and I'll do mine)

 

#47 'Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride'

~ (Don't judge a book by its cover)

 

#48 'She's been rode hard and put away wet'

~ (refers to an unnattractive, hard-looking woman)

 

"tump" is a word, as in: 'I jes' tumped over mah beer!'

 

 

[Chili327]

Dude, Tapatio is the BOMB..!!!

 

 

[[<+>] mic--]

Sounds a lot like georgia too, and yes we say yall also. How many people here have had grits?

[crater1]

YA'LL is a southern thing every southern state uses it. You Yanks say you people or you all

[Guest [iLL] Andawg]

Listen, I live in the south, and other then the history with America being born on the East coast, IT SUCKS! Well except in the summer the girls hardly wear any clothes, and it's almost always summer

 

The one time I drove through Texas I loved it. The drivers were cool. We got off the interstate to cut over to San Antonio and out in the country(Which there was A LOT of) most of the drivers i.e. farmers in trucks, would pull over out of my way and I'd blow past. I liked that.

 

But ya, to live in an area that if you enunciate, you're misunderstood, and thought to be insulting them, kinda sucks.

[Deutscher75]

If you're from a foreign country and enunciate would that be considered the same as offending them?

[Guest [iLL] Andawg]

If you're from another county, not just country. And yes people that enunciate offend those that don't. It's like they think you're showing off your smarts.

 

I grew up In Oregon, and here in North Carolina, I have the accent, according to most I talk to. When in truth I am without an accent at all and because I use all the consonants in a word, they look at me funny.

[Deutscher75]

Andawg ]

If you're from another county, not just country. And yes people that enunciate offend those that don't. It's like they think you're showing off your smarts.

 

I grew up In Oregon, and here in North Carolina, I have the accent, according to most I talk to. When in truth I am without an accent at all and because I use all the consonants in a word, they look at me funny.

 

not my fault I was taught proper english as a second language lol

 

I've traveled down south several times and never really picked up resentment, but I have seen it before.