Any Advice

[Guest -Fury]

I am looking for advice to help my cousin. She is 26 and married to a 30-year-old man. They have only been married for a year now and have a child who is a cute baby boy who is 15 months.

Her husband still likes to go out and party, but she doesn't because she knows she has a child and has to work the next day, but he can't get it through his head why. Then when he does come home drunk and wakes the baby and then expects her to get up and put the kid back to sleep when she has work the next morning.

He also tries to say the kid isn't his and she agrees to do a paternaty test so he can stop trying to throw that in her face. They are a mixed couple, he is black and she is white, so the baby is pretty light skinned so he being an anatomy teacher and having a child with a blonde haired women what did he think the kid would look like.

He raises his hand to her and tries to scare her and one day he might just hit her. His sister is a lawyer and threatens to take the child, but his sister and everyone knows he couldn't take care of the kid, but he brings in about $70,000 a year as an assistant principle and uses that against her too, says she can't do anything with out him which is probably a lie.

Tonight she called my mom crying because he basically threw her out of the house and threaten to take the kid from her, so she went to her mom's. Everyone tries to tell her she needs to make up her own mind to leave him or whatever, because if they tell her and it goes wrong then she will be mad at them.

It seems she is over her head, any advice for her would be helpful right now. My mom has worked at the county court house for years and is getting a good lawyer if it comes to that.

 

Thanks anyone

[SERGEANT-CRUNCH]

Man thats a tough one but no woman deserves to be treated like dirt. Every relationship has its ups and downs I've been there. I'm married now for 12 years with 3 kids and my wife and I have had our rough times but we make it through especially for the kids. But in your cousins situation she needs to evaluate her relationship with her husband and make a decision if it's worth it our not and not only for her sake but for the sake of her child which should be above everything. So you could definetly help her not by forcing her to make a decision but by helping her weigh out the pros and cons. And remember be sensitive to the situation as this is a tough time for her. Hopefully this helps you Fury.

 

Good Luck

Sergeant-Crunch

3rd Infantry Division

[TOW-19]

You could also get an official petition going.

With his sister, especially, who, as a lawyer, can APPRECIATE the power of a good, healthy turnout on a court-pressure petition, this might be a fairly viable option for your family.

You could start here in the community, and then the judge can sit back in awe at the URGENT FURY backed up by the 943 names we could start you off with.

Besides, who COULDN'T help but legally take the names Undertow, Havoc, Viper, Streetsweeper, Smokeosama, Boody and KingJunk seriously?

 

We're there for EVERY problem in sight.

We're Urgent Fury.

[Guest H.A.V.0.C]

Tell her to leave him and get a restraining order out on his ass. To me if a man strikes or even threatens to strike a female, then he is a coward. I know that women can do things to make us crazy but if you ever think about hitting one, than you are in the wrong relationship and you have brought yourself down to a level of SHITBAG. I don't have any advise to give you but tell her to leave him. Or kill him, then tell her to smash her face against the bathroom mirror and say it was self defence. Sorry man thats sucks for you family I hope it all works out for you. :-[

[Chili327]

After evaluating the relationship...

 

For the kids sake id try to get some evidence on how bad a father he can be, so when she does make up her mind to leave she'll have a better case against him in court.. since he has the money he could win just buy being able to provide better for the child. If she can prove he is a bad father she can gain custody, & leave him, & with good proof she can get paid GOOD alemony.

Id try to get some good video w/audio of his way of life.. & attitude when he comes home. (dont risk getting caught, play it smart. plant a camera in a very good place, or even call a private detective.)

 

Just my opinion, but you gotta plan ahead for these kinds of things.

 

Good luck.!

[UNCLE-SID25]

Bottom line here- The kid is going to pay for what ever choice is made. The choices being made here should be for the kid above all else. Our thoughts are with you and your family...

[STREETSWEEPR1]

tell her she has more power than she thinks..being the mother is the most important factor in the whole case.besides the child.(the only thing worse than being in a bad relationship fo three years is being in one for 3 years and a day"l)tell her to leave he will get his reallity check.keep a journal of events when he comes home what he does. let him hit her. might be the best thing for her (not to sound like a jackass)but if he hit her case closed. and then as your duty as a brother find out what bar he goes to.wait till he comes out of the bar then hit him in the back of head with a bat or knee cap..of course when he's not looking thats what he deserves...bottom line she needs to sit down with his ass and tell him how she feels about whats goin on. he might just get a fucking clue..in a respectful mannerand if he still is a jackass..then he's cheating anyway dump his ass...

 

peace street

[MaCoo]

OK some of you all have played with WhiteRabbit, he is a buddy of mine. He is a lawyer and his wife is also all she does is divorce/custody case. I asked him to give me quick run down of the problem and this is his advice: GOODLUCK!!

 

Initial thoughts:

 

1) Most states have a protection from abuse laws that

allow for the woman to obtain a restraining order if

she feels threatened.

 

2) A woman who makes less money and files for divorce

/ custody can file for alimony pendente lite (meaning,

while litigation continues she will receive alimony,

or attorney fees).

 

3) If she leaves with the child, he will have to file

for custody. She should leave and then request from

domestic relations (or the state's equivilant) for

child support.

 

4) Contact a good lawyer - one who only does custody

matters. This may be expensive, but ask the family to

help out with the costs. There is nothing more

important than the child - so think of it that way and

expense will not seem that bad.

[GRINGO]

Heres how you do it. Tell her to find a place to stay for about 2-3 weeks. Hire a lawyer, and without telling him(his family or anyone for that matter), get a restraining order put on him. all you need in my state is a good enough reason to convince a lawyer its needed. about the day they get the deal in the mail, is when they will find out about the order. then let it be known where she is at, and have plenty of good people around that know the story in full, and can give help or testimony if needed, because if he comes around like a dumb ass, he will need his sisters help, and his job as a employee in any school district will be compromised.   Give a dumbass enough rope and they will hang their selves.  She and the kid should never ever have to look at or put up with this guy again.

[Guest [iLL] Andawg]

I would be glad to solve this for her, what city and state? and what school does he work at...I'll have it handled by this weekend...mmmhmm "I reckon some people just need..."

 

First, most schools don't like it known that the people they have in charge are abusive, so that is a major tool for her, if she wants to hurt him, or threaten him.

But the will only keep him at bay for awhile, that should be used to buy time to get out!

[Indian Outlaw]

You said he kicked her out? Did she take the child when she left? That's grounds for something right there. She needs to contact a lawyer immediately to find out her rights and what she is able to do. He can't kick her out of their house. She might actually be able to use that against him and have him removed from the home and then put a restraining order on his dumb ass.

 

Now, If she left that child, when she left, he can get her for abandonment.

 

As long as she didn't sign a prenup., she'll be able to get alimony and child support if she takes it that far. I wouldn't count on it unless she's a really strong woman(those are few and far between).

 

Just be there to support whatever decision she makes and try not to talk bad against him. Woman can be very blind when it comes to the men they love and exspecially after children come into the picture. Don't risk your relationship with her and just let her know you are there regardless of her decision. I wouldn't let her know you posted her business on the website either.

 

 

[boody]

he said BOODY!!!

[[LA]MAXIMUS666]

H.A.V.0.C ]

Tell her to leave him and get a restraining order out on his ass. To me if a man strikes or even threatens to strike a female, then he is a coward. I know that women can do things to make us crazy but if you ever think about hitting one, than you are in the wrong relationship and you have brought yourself down to a level of SHITBAG. I don't have any advise to give you but tell her to leave him. Or kill him, then tell her to smash her face against the bathroom mirror and say it was self defence. Sorry man thats sucks for you family I hope it all works out for you.  :-[

Agreed.

[SHANE23]

The mother is granted the custodial parenting until she is proven unfit or she gives it up willingly. Now proving a mother unfit is VERY hard to do so if she is a fit mother then she shouldn't have to worry about that. At least this is how it happened for me, I had no chance of getting my kids which is BS, I have the more stable household but I basically would have had to have a video of her with a needle in her arm to prove her unfit.

 

I know in Illinois, may happen in other states too, that if one of the parents has the resources to go out and hire a $1000/hr attorney and the other parent doesn't the state flips the bill to hire an equal attorney. Make sense? This may be something she could look in to if money is an issue.

 

If he has threatened her and thrown her out then she should seek a restraining order.

[SERGEANT-CRUNCH]

UNCLE-SID25 ]

Bottom line here- The kid is going to pay for what ever choice is made. The choices being made here should be for the kid above all else. Our thoughts are with you and your family...

 

I couldn't agree more UNCLE-SID25.

[[OHM] COL.GRINDER]

I agree with Chili. Get video and photos of him and his "night life" at the bars before she leaves if she thinks she can stay one more week.

 

Have a pro do it. Do not attempt it yourself it only makes it harder for a future investigator to get the info if your busted. There are tactics to doing a good survielence leave it to the pros.

 

The investigator will cost a little but look at it as an investment. The return? Taking his ass to the cleaners.

 

Also as a public servant I can tell you that ethical and moral standards violations will get you fired.

 

Get the evidence and she will win.

 

Then she can give that child the life it should have.

 

Grinder

 

[[OHM] COL.GRINDER]

One more thing.

 

Alert the local police that you believe he is driving drunk when you know he is at the bars late give them the discription of the car and tag # and they will try to catch him.

 

You dont have to get in the middle of it they will take care of it from there on.

 

If he gets a DUI thats all the better for the mothers case.