How to tell my female friend....

[Guest KingJunk]

My friend for many years is dating this guy, and he is a loser!! Seasonal Job, broke down car and treats her how he wants to which is not good all the time. He has not hit her or anything, and I don't think he will, but the way he treats her; I do not like it one bit at all. Like for Valentines Day he did not buy her SHIT and did not get around to seeing her until 11: 00pm and I was like WTF, but he took her to the bar and bought her a few drinks and shit and brought his female cousin along. Just like Christmas and New Years he did not see her at all and he always's comes up with some shit like ohh I was sick or some lame ass reason he could not get around to her.

 

Now, should I just sick back and say nothing, as long as she is happy or should I step in and voice my opinion and tell her to drop him because I know she can do better!

 

She is strictly a friend we were very close at 1 point in my life, but I jumped ships and went out and got married :-\ but even after that she remained my friend, and I do keep her close, but not to close because I don't want to be put in a position where I have to pick between her and my wife and yes of course that's a no brainier my friend will go bye bye!!

 

However, what should I do about her lil boyfriend??

[SHANE23]

That is ALWAYS a tough question. Usually there is not a lot you can say without ruining your friendship. Maybe just drop subtle hints that she could do better. Or maybe just kick his ass and set him straight. But other then that, if she is in love, there are not a lot of choices.

[Outlaw__Rebel]

You can't do anything because it's not your life. If you push too much it could have a negative effect. Maybe she likes being treated the way he treats her. Sooner or later the bubble will burst and she'll move on if she wants something better or different to her. If he's abusive that's a different story.

 

How many Women in your past are you sure glad you didn't marry?

[Guest M16Assassin]

I know where you are at completely a friend of mine was in the same situation pretty much except it is a guy. I've known him for 6 years and I hated his girlfriend as did the rest of my friends. She cheated on him multiple times but he chose to ignore it. I basically told him that if you are gonna be miserable all the time is it really worth it. You gotta get your shit together cause you aren't enjoying life anymore. Since then he has been in a much better mood.

 

But I would say just let her know you feel that he is treating her wrong. If you are telling her what you think it wouldn't ruin your friendship.

[Chili327]

SHANE23 ]

That is ALWAYS a tough question. Usually there is not a lot you can say without ruining your friendship. Maybe just drop subtle hints that she could do better. Or maybe just kick his ass and set him straight. But other then that, if she is in love, there are not a lot of choices.

Exactly..!

 

Just support her desicions, no matter what they are.

[SEQUOYAH]

Unless you want to ruin you relationship with your friend...MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.

 

Thats always been my philosphy, and it ALWAYS works!! ;D

[[LA]MAXIMUS666]

_SEQUOYAH ]

Unless you want to ruin you relationship with your friend...MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.

 

Thats always been my philosphy, and it ALWAYS works!! ;D

x2

[HippieChik]

You left out one VERY important piece of information. She CHOOSES to be in this relationship. We teach people how to treat us. If she wasn't putting up with it, he wouldn't be doing it, either because she whipped his bum into shape or she left him and didn't allow him to treat her badly.

 

Be there as a friend when she needs you. Really all you can do.

[TOW-19]

This is none of your business.

She's a grown woman.

Whether she's smart about things or stupid....she's still a grown woman.

 

And it's none of your business.

 

At very best, you do nothing, and she comes to you when she needs advice.

At very worst, you do something, and then you end up being on some stupid video on the news showing a boyfriend going nuts with a gun at his ex-girlfriend's workplace.

 

None of your business.

[STREETSWEEPR1]

honestly junk i would let her figure it out ..

 

this is one of those steps she has to take to better herself in the future...just tell her to keep her gaurd up and look some where else

[BIGDANIEL]

If she's close enough not to get mad at you for voicing your opinion then do so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could always confront him and convince him to get lost.

[TOW-19]

Snake Doctor ]

 

You could always confront him and convince him to get lost.

 

Snake Dr.....I could SWEAR somewhere on this forum I read that you were a cop of some sort.

Are you REALLY giving that as advice?

 

I don't know....maybe I'm missing something here, but I would think that confronting HER is a viable (maybe) avenue to take....but confronting HIM?

It's none of Junk's business.

If she's a friend, fine.

But the shitbag boyfriend? HE is none of Junk's business.

[Guest KingJunk]

I think I am going to sit back and take a chill pill and just let her know in so many ways "Not to put all her eggs in one basket" I guess thats the best I can do :-\

 

As far as giving him a nice ass whoopin he is not worth it and I am not a man of violence unless I have to be, but I know he is scared of me!!

[Guest KingJunk]

Snake Doctor ]

If she's close enough not to get mad at you for voicing your opinion then do so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could always confront him and convince him to get lost.

 

What am I to say??

 

Hey punk I want you to walk out her life and get lost forever!!

 

I think that only work in movies lol

[lX-OSCEOLA-Xl]

Just pay someone to kick his ass

[Guest KingJunk]

LORD_LUCIFER ]

Just pay someone to kick his ass

 

1. Not a man of violence

2. Not going to pay someone to do a job I KNOW I can easily and I mean very easily do myself

3. I rather go pay to see 2 midgets fight

 

[UNCLE-SID25]

MAXIMUS666 ]

_SEQUOYAH ]

Unless you want to ruin you relationship with your friend...MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.

 

Thats always been my philosphy, and it ALWAYS works!! ;D

x2

I concure... Unless you a a weird green eyed monster... Which would be odd given you are just her "friend"

[HogWild_101st]

My best advice: Keep quiet unless asked for your opinoin. As painful as it is, you can only live one life and that's your own. You say the wrong thing, and your friend will resent it no matter how well intentioned your gestures may be.

 

Unless, you are looking to replace the loser, then you are living your life and making decisions that affect you.

[TOW-19]

HogWild ]

My best advice: Keep quiet unless asked for your opinoin. As painful as it is, you can only live one life and that's your own. You say the wrong thing, and your friend will resent it no matter how well intentioned your gestures may be.

 

Unless, you are looking to replace the loser, then you are living your life and making decisions that affect you.

 

Then you might get to have SEX with her! :P :-* :P :-* :P :-*

[Bandit99]

Most everyone has given you the best advice. Leave it alone unless she asks. Then be careful. If she is unhappy she will talk about it and when she does, don't give her your words. give her hers. Say things such as, well didn't you say this about him or didn't you say this. Tell her to just listen to what she says.

 

In other words don't make it your opinion, but her own. This is the safest way. She can never attribute anything as it being your opinion, just her own.

[Guest KingJunk]

Undertow ]

 

 

Then you might get to have SEX with her! :P :-* :P :-* :P :-*

 

to be honest its too late for that :-\ but we have not had sex since I have been Married and I don't plan to either

[UNCLE-SID25]

Yeah when your married I hear you never get to have sex again.. I also hear when you do, you are only fooling yourself if you think it is as great as when you 1st met. :-X

 

*Sid Pwns the inslaved!

[BIGDANIEL]

Undertow ]

Snake Doctor ]

 

You could always confront him and convince him to get lost.

 

Snake Dr.....I could SWEAR somewhere on this forum I read that you were a cop of some sort.

Are you REALLY giving that as advice?

 

I don't know....maybe I'm missing something here, but I would think that confronting HER is a viable (maybe) avenue to take....but confronting HIM?

It's none of Junk's business.

If she's a friend, fine.

But the shitbag boyfriend?  HE is none of Junk's business.

 

 

I'm not real sure what point you're trying to make here, but me being a cop has nothing to do with me protecting my friends. If I had a close female friend that was dating some shitbag that treated her like she was nothing I would absolutely step in and protect her. If that meant convincing him that it was time for him to move on then so be it. And I would do that even if I werent a cop.

 

 

[BIGDANIEL]

Snake Doctor ]

Undertow ]

Snake Doctor ]

 

You could always confront him and convince him to get lost.

 

Snake Dr.....I could SWEAR somewhere on this forum I read that you were a cop of some sort.

Are you REALLY giving that as advice?

 

I don't know....maybe I'm missing something here, but I would think that confronting HER is a viable (maybe) avenue to take....but confronting HIM?

It's none of Junk's business.

If she's a friend, fine.

But the shitbag boyfriend?  HE is none of Junk's business.

 

 

I'm not real sure what point you're trying to make here, but me being a cop has nothing to do with me protecting my friends.  If I had a close female friend that was dating some shitbag that treated her like she was nothing I would absolutely step in and protect her.  If that meant convincing him that it was time for him to move on then so be it.  And I would do that even if I weren't a cop.

 

 

 

 

I think I know where you were going with this now and I think you may have read to much into my advice. I wasn't suggesting he get physical with the guy or that he do something illegal. He can convince him simply by talking with him.

 

I don't know about you guys and your friends, but my friends are part of my family. I will step up and protect them any time and any where. And if that means I have to apologize to them for interferring in their business then so be it. Maybe I'm the only one here that's like that? If so then I wont expect anyone to understand. But I decided long ago that I'd rather have a small number of super close friends than to have a large number of acquaintance's.

[TOW-19]

Yes then...it looks like I read too much into what you wrote.