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Heres your sign!

Guest Attitude

By Guest Attitude
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Command Master Chief

Chili327

Posted
Posted

Here's your sign... ;D

 

 

THE STUPID SIGN

 

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops... never mind, didn't see your sign."

 

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

 

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

 

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

 

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

 

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

 

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning... okay... no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

 

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

 

Anybody you know need a sign today?

 

The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

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Command Master Chief

TOW-19

Posted
Posted

Oh do I hate Bill Engvall....don't know what it is about that guy.

Friend sat me down to watch one of his stand-ups once and I think I looked at my buddy at least 4 times during, saying "when the hell is he supposed to be funny."

 

It's never his comedy...his comedy is ok.

His delivery just irritates me. :)

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Guest Attitude

Guest Attitude

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Posted

Between the 4 on Blue Collar Comedy I have to say that I like Engvall the best. Even saw him live. The one I don't find funny is that cable guy dud, I mean dude. lol

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Command Master Chief

IRISH BULL

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Posted
Undertow ]

Oh do I hate Bill Engvall....don't know what it is about that guy.

Friend sat me down to watch one of his stand-ups once and I think I looked at my buddy at least 4 times during, saying "when the hell is he supposed to be funny."

 

It's never his comedy...his comedy is ok.

His delivery just irritates me. :)

 

I concur.

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Command Master Chief

Red0ctobeR

Posted
Posted

I wish I took a picture of it... But in Lancaster, PA there is a sign that goes from top to bottom

 

 

intercourse>>>

Paradise>>>>>>

Blue Ball<<<<

 

These are all towns amongst this amish community. TO get to paradise you have to go through intercourse, but if you go the wrong way you end up in Blue Ball. No joek this is 100% true.

 

I lived in New Holland PA for about 6 mos.

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